Spotting Signs of Self Injury and How To Help Your Child

In last week's podcast I discussed spotting signs of self injury, what that may mean, and how to help. 

This is not an easy subject to write or talk about, and yet it comes up a lot in my office.   Teens engaging in self-harming behaviors happens far more often than many think.   If you have concerns about your own child, it is a normal parent reaction to wish the behaviors away.   Parent to parent, and as a professional, if you are concerned about your child, reaching out for help is strongly encouraged. 

Kids and teens injure themselves when they are having intense feelings that they do not know how to manage.  The harm itself may be done in various forms ranging from scratching, or cutting, to striking themselves. Some may do it intentionally in places that may not be seen. Some are fine with them being visible. 

In the past, people often thought self-harm behaviors were related to a desire to die. This is not always the case.    In some situations these acts are a way for a person to relieve stress. Even though it may seem counterintuitive, our body releases endorphins when it is injured and many people experience calming sensations after an injury (regardless of how they got the injury).  Consequently, self-injury can become a cyclical way to relieve anxiety and stress. Additionally some people who are struggling with intense emotions, may feel numb and consider the physical pain a reminder that they are alive and can feel sensations of some kind.  Furthermore, some people have complicated relationships with their bodies and in times of strong emotions, they feel a need to punish their body for any number of issues.  Given how complicated this is, it is really important to seek specialized support to understand how to best help your child. 

There is no one formula for what this behavior looks like, but I discuss on my podcast, through various signs to look out for, language to use when talking to your child, and how you can help kids identify and cope with intense feelings.

For more listen to my podcast here.

What You Will Learn:

Not all harm suggests a desire to die

Self-injury can stem from one of a combination of depression, trauma, anxiety, and stress

All bodies deserve care 

A process to follow if you have noticed signs of self-injury 

Thank you for connecting,

Dr. Laura Anderson

Dr. Laura S. Anderson specializes in educating and supporting families, as well as clinicians who support transracial adoptive families, across the globe to overcome barriers, derive strength from their differences, and thrive. She is a dynamic advocate for multiracial families and a strong advocate for supporting "third culture" children and families who may need support with the stressors associated with living out of their countries of origin and kids navigating gender and diversity.

Contact Dr. Anderson here.